


Overdose

by 5BPencil



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance, The Used
Genre: Fluff, Humor, M/M, this is not mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-03-30 01:34:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13939719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/5BPencil/pseuds/5BPencil
Summary: Bert claimed his seat on Gerard once again, put a hand on his hip and another on hisbelly. "Don't you want to hear the story of my miraculous pregnancy?""Um, no but go on.""So that guy, Darren, he forwent rubber once and it was never the same again. ""Maybe he gave you chlamydia."





	Overdose

**Author's Note:**

> I was going to post that in February but time's and illusion I guess so here you go

When Gerard started insisting they spend Valentine's together, Bert thought he had some big flamboyant plan but here they were lying on their sofa, one watching the last Star Wars movie with dead concentration, eventhough it wasn't his first or even second time, other lying behind his partner on his side, chewing on his hair, kissing his neck, pointing at the characters he'd fuck and making fun of the guy with the big nose who seemed like he was about to have skype sex all the while hoping Gerard didn't buy them lightsabers or something equally nerdy for that Valentine's Day. 

Not that he was picky about the gifts he were to receive. Bert loved it when he were given gifts, like everyone else, but he loved it more when it wasn't prompted and also when it wasn't some glowing stick with which Gerard definitely was going to want to swordfight with. Partly because he had a hard time picking gifts for occasions and also he _already_ got Gerard a pair of those toys before anyway. 

He was an "I saw this and thought of you" kind of person, not "oh here's your gift for this certain day because I was told by society, media and big corporations that I had to get something for you" kind.

Though since his lover was so fond of any and every Holiday and Special Day, he played along every year. Talks starting with "Material exchange and consumption" got interrupted by Gerard's eyes rolling and a "Dude, don't you see they are exploiting people's love for each other by leading them to buy shit nobody needs? What are they going to do next if we stick to that every year? Tell us which days to celebrate our family members- " never got good feedback in a holiday season. He knew that Gerard didn't care that much about the material itself either, but the ambiance and the time spent together. So he piled a stash, got or made stuff Gerard would like whenever he felt like it and kept the best for Special Days. 

 

"Bert, stop it. I'm ticklish there" Gerard swatted his hand which was wandering under his faded black t-shirt.

"Where exactly? Where exactly are you ticklish?" Bert swung his leg over and straddled him as Gerard rolled on his back on their gray velvet spacious couch. One of Bert's hands got out of his partner's t-shirt and went to the side of his face as he started to assault Gerard's mouth.

Gerard was running his hands through Bert's straw blond hair and faking moans "Right there, there, ohh" which made Bert smirk and bite Gerard's cute little chin lightly.

"So, the movie's practically over." Bert said as Star Wars was playing on the TV. "What now?"

"Uh, opening gifts?" Gerard asked hopefully, looking up at the ceiling and wondering how a footprint got there. 

"Nah, we'll do that after having a romantic dinner." It was 3 PM. 

"A romantic dinner?" asked Gerard incredulously, amusement obvious in his voice. He was curious where Bert could have got the idea from, since he came back that morning and Gerard didn't do anything except having homecoming sex with him, eating captain crunch with him while watching Gumball and then putting on a Star Wars movie while ignoring his whining. 

"Yeah, we'll order pizza or something." answered Bert and went back to sucking on Gerard's neck.

The afternoon went by as they made out and talked of their works and friends and reminisced their old days like that first Valentine's Day when Bert decided to get Gerard a lingerie but then Quinn said it might freak the other singer out so Bert got _himself_ one instead, and that first birthday together when it turned out Gerard was not kidding when he said he was going to introduce Bert to his mom.

"And you showed up in that Buttsex is Itchy t-shirt " said Gerard showing all of his tiny teeth with joy.

"I could show up in women's underwear too." 

"-and you insisted to keep your hoodie on all zipped up to your chin but mom took it off-" Gerard couldn't contain his laughter.

"Don't laugh, asshole." said Bert and buried his face into the older guy and chuckled.

It was evening in no time and they were both indeed hungry after doing nothing but lazing on the couch all afternoon. Gerard ordered a pizza -a heart shaped one, for the cheesiness of it- still on his spot examining the ceiling while Bert was making his fifth trip to the bathroom. 

"Dude, you've got the bladder of a pregnant woman." 

"Maybe...I am pregnant, you insensitive fuck." Bert hit Gerard with an astray cushion he picked up from the floor and then tried to stuff it under his t-shirt gingerly. 

Gerard sat up and put his hands on Bert's huge stomach and started talking to it."Wow. My fluids so strong they crossed the lines of biology. You see that baby?" He looked up at his partner, beaming.

"Nobody said it was yours, you dipshit." said Bert smirking.

"Oh then I lost interest." Gerard went back to his horizontal position on the couch.

Bert claimed his seat on Gerard once again, put a hand on his hip and another on his _belly_ and cocked his head. "Don't you want to hear the story of my miraculous pregnancy?"

"Um, no but go on." 

"So that guy, Darren, he forwent rubber once and it was never the same again. " 

"Maybe he gave you chlamydia." 

"Nooo." said Bert still rubbing the cushion mindlessly.

"How can you be so sure?" asked Gerard, trying hard to keep a straight face but failing. 

"Because I already had that." giggled Bert and Gerard couldn't help but burst into laughter for the umpteenth time that day. 

Bert got up and pulled out the cushion from under his hammer and sickle t-shirt and threw it back to the ground. He then recognized the book he recommended Gerard earlier that week on the phone. He got it and plonked down on the other side of the sofa and started reading from where the older guy left his (actually Bert's) black kitten bookmark. At some point they left the book to contemplate if the author had the hots for the old friend the book was about or not but their heated debate was interrupted by the pizza delivery they almost forgot about.

They ate in a comfortable silence until Gerard took the last slice and Bert declared that he had to keep his mouth full and, to Gerard's mild disappointment, went to the kitchen. Soon he came back with an ice cream tube and two spoons . He started eating spoonfuls of it right away and Gerard was telling him about some upcoming superhero movie when he stopped abruptly and looked at Bert.

"Dude, what?" questioned the blue eyed guy.

"How can you just bite down on it. Even watching makes my teeth ache."

"I can _not_ just lick it and look like I'm sucking balls. That's gay."

"Bert" said Gerard and took a spoonful of icecream. " You are gay." he licked the scoop to emphasize. "You sucked me this morning." 

"Oh, yeah." Bert grinned, eyes sparkling with joyous realization and offered Gerard a deal. He was going to blow Gerard again if he stopped _implying_ that Bert way gay. 

Gerard started adding a "No Homo" after every statement until Bert had enough and went down on him.

Gerard immediately started an elaborate monologue about how Bert was, of course, not gay and talked about bisexual erasure through the blowjob. Bert had to come up and ask him to shut up several times, but to no avail. 

Gerard asked to return the favor but was cut off by Bert's index finger waving in his face saying Gerard couldn't just buy a pizza and get in his pants. At first Gerard was baffled at the unexpected refusal but Bert just got up and went to the bathroom once again. 

He took his chance and laid his wrapped up present on their coffee table in the meantime because he really wanted to receive _his_ gift and Bert didn't seem like he was ever going to initiate it. Gerard got him a work of an artist the younger man really liked. An impressionist piece painted with fingers, displaying a small dog shaking water off his fur with a background unveiling every hue between blue and green. He was really hoping Bert would like it.

In the end Bert liked it so much it gave him a hard on. He was about to jump Gerard then and there had Gerard not demanded his gift first. So he half-jogged to their bedroom and came back with a little pack and a grin on his face and handed Gerard the comic book he made about him. _He had to return the favor after being written into a whole series as Kraken_ he said. 

While he did not give Gerard to read it on the spot,next morning he woke up to the older guy smothering him, saying it was the best fanwork he had ever got.

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone would like to do collabs, give me ideas, help me out sometimes or just send me memes, hit me up here or on 5bpencilx.tumblr.com, I'd love it


End file.
